Yea, This Is Pretty Pathetic

Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag, also known as Speidi, have been tearing up the headlines for years now and it seems that no matter how many headlines they were making and how superficial they seemed to be, it was never enough. These two little cunts, between the two of them, had millions of dollars from The Hills but they blew on their money on shit like music production. I reported here on this blog just months back that Heidi Montag, before surgery, dumped $2 million on a new record that sold practically no copies. Of course she could have done the smart thing and released a sex tape which is like some sort of magic fairy dust when it comes to staying relevant in the tabloids but this is the bitch who did Playboy and didn't even show her nipples. What the fuck did she expect? Anyway, now they live on a $400 a week allowance from Spencer's dad. Pathetic. Truly pathetic.

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Speidi Staged Divorce Is Off

It was rumored that Heidi Montag was going to divorce Spencer Pratt at the beginning of the summer but then everyone found out that the two had not split at all and had in fact been living together in a rented house in Costa Rica. Now they are saying the divorce is off. Don't they mean the publicity stunt? Anyway, no dude wants to put his dick in butterface. I mean...I do... but that would be more for the sake of me saying that I fucked Heidi Montag and not exactly a thing I would tell my best friends and expect a high five or a fist bump. Speidi still reigns on the tabloids.

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Speidi Have Been Bunking Together This Whole Time

All summer long we have been hearing about how Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag are going to get a divorce. And if those rumors were not tearing up the headlines, it was that a sex tape was about to be released. Turns out that both reports are total bullshit. Speidi have been bunking together in a rental home in Malibu all summer long. They duped us. I don't care really though cause I wouldn't trade anything in the world to be anything like these two douche bags. They are pretty low. Oh yea, and they trashed the house and the owners are pissed. Will they pay them back? No. I seriously doubt they can afford that.

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Heidi Montag Wants To Talk Numbers

Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt are in costa Rica for some weird reason and they are working on the release of this sex tape. This thing is for sure gonna happen one way or the other and everyone in the world will be able to see Heidi's bunghole for all existence. There is still no confirmation on what the numbers will be up front for the vid but I am sure it will outsell Kardashian's bullshit sex tape and may even challenge One Night In Paris. Also there is some Playmate who is gonna have some girl on girl action with Heidi but she says if her role in the film ever becomes public, she will "sue the pants off" Spencer Pratt.

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Speidi Might Just FOR REAL Have A Sex Tape

It is being reported today by TMZ that Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt may have a sex tape. Spencer is the one shopping it around and Steve Hirsch of Vivid Entertainment is confirming that he is in negotiations with Spencer to sell the tape. This would fetch a pretty price tag and if the deal goes down Spencer would be able to afford all the pricey lawyers he would need to keep Heidi Montag at bay while he writes a tell-all book about her. Also, if you are looking forward to seeing the tape then you better go out and buy it because I can not post it or screenshots here. I can link to them but can't put the pics themselves up because I have been threatened one too many time by Vivid to stop using their pictures. I am looking forward to the release of this thing. If it is pre-op then it is sexy and if it is post-op then it is kind of like watching the wildlife channel.

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Spencer Pratt Is A Bum

Spencer Pratt took to his Twitter account the other day to tell the world that he is homeless and is going to move in to the Roosevelt Hotel. Now that he isn't with his fucked up wife Heidi Montag anymore it will be a little hard for him to seek out the attention he so desperately craves. Afterall, the paparazzi only took pics on those staged beach scenes to see Heidi ginormous rack.

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Team Audrina

Last night kicked off the season 4 premiere of The Hills and there were no dull moments.

Looove Whitney, Doug's a hottie, Lauren's always the peacemaker, (at least she's trying) as far as Audrina and Lo's friendship goes, opposites don't attract this time, still can't stand Heidi and Spencer, um and how big is Lo, LC and Audrina's house?!

From the Laguna days to this, I never thought I'd say this, but I'm gonna have to take Audrina's side on this one. Sorry Lo.

Looks like this season won't disappoint!

Photo Credit: WireImage

- Erin Dustin

Thanks Spencer, I Guess

Surprise, surprise, Spencer has stirred up yet another feud, but this time he's actually apologizing. The lucky girl is yes, MKO.

“I apologize for getting caught up in trash talking, but she brought up an emotional subject when she mentioned the soccer stuff...I know Dave was just doing his job in asking her...He’s the best in the game at that...I respect Mary Kate as a business-woman...I’m secretly jealous of her. I want my face on a lunchbox, too!”

Good choice Mr. Pratt!

- Erin Dustin

Um...Gross

No he didn't just diss MKO!

After Mary-Kate's David Letterman appearance last week, The Hills Spencer Pratt is speaking out about her comments toward his bad temper on the soccer field while they were in high school together.



The reality villian had this to say:

"I don't really get why she'd use my name to get press for her little indie film that no one's going to see...She should probably focus more on not getting dressed in the dark than on me...I know I've made it in Hollywood when a famous troll is talking about me on Letterman...I forgive her, though. She's had to go through life as the less cute twin, which must be tough."

- Erin Dustin

The Hills Recap

So the hour long season premiere of the Hills on Monday left me with both a bad taste and a good taste in my mouth.

1. Mariah Carey claimed that she absolutely loves watching the Hills but I refuse to believe that she's ever even seen an episode until that night.

2. Whitney and Lauren: How DARE you not know how to pronounce "Givenchy" and you're in fashion and there's a camera in your face!

3. Once the paparazzi is caught taking pics of reality stars while the reality show is being taped, its time for a series finale. Lauren's no longer a reality star she's just a celeb.(Did anyone else catch the pap-snap as the girls were leaving Colette?)


4. Mistakes of an intern (cuz nothing that they did would go down in the "Real" world!)

A. NEVER put going to pick up your dress before getting the job done!

B. NEVER stitch a designer LOAN gown and then go to a club with it on. I gagged when I saw her preparing to do this!

C. NEVER put you beauty supplies next to your designer LOAN gown. That was actually hilarious because Whitney didn't seem to care at first.

D. So now Lauren the man gives you a loan and you hop on a Vespa?? Yeah...NEVER!!! Just NEVER!!!

5. Spencer looked like he gained the marital weight before the wedding even went down!

6.What a dream to meet a semi-hot French rock-star and take mini-tours around Paris!!?? Loved the Eiffel Tower scene

7. Seemed like Lauren got to be more hands on than Whitney but I'm super happy that Whitney is finally finding her way!


8. Kimball...I love you!

9. I'm starting to feel some kind of way about Audrina because why would you make an international call just to tell your friend that the man she likes is showing off his new girlfriend?

10. Heidi's Stepdad to Spencer : "What the heck?!!!" Spencer to the Stepdad: "Yeah I'm a complete loser and it would be a much better moment if you just hit me with that shovel."

Clearly I made that up cuz Spencer's an idiot for going all the way to CO but I love Heidi for making him feel like an idiot at the dinner table with the folks!)

All in all an awesome premiere and can't wait 'til next week! The Heidi drama-train has just left the station!!

- Crystal Hines