Yea, This Is Pretty Pathetic

Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag, also known as Speidi, have been tearing up the headlines for years now and it seems that no matter how many headlines they were making and how superficial they seemed to be, it was never enough. These two little cunts, between the two of them, had millions of dollars from The Hills but they blew on their money on shit like music production. I reported here on this blog just months back that Heidi Montag, before surgery, dumped $2 million on a new record that sold practically no copies. Of course she could have done the smart thing and released a sex tape which is like some sort of magic fairy dust when it comes to staying relevant in the tabloids but this is the bitch who did Playboy and didn't even show her nipples. What the fuck did she expect? Anyway, now they live on a $400 a week allowance from Spencer's dad. Pathetic. Truly pathetic.

Source

Speidi Staged Divorce Is Off

It was rumored that Heidi Montag was going to divorce Spencer Pratt at the beginning of the summer but then everyone found out that the two had not split at all and had in fact been living together in a rented house in Costa Rica. Now they are saying the divorce is off. Don't they mean the publicity stunt? Anyway, no dude wants to put his dick in butterface. I mean...I do... but that would be more for the sake of me saying that I fucked Heidi Montag and not exactly a thing I would tell my best friends and expect a high five or a fist bump. Speidi still reigns on the tabloids.

Source

Speidi Have Been Bunking Together This Whole Time

All summer long we have been hearing about how Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag are going to get a divorce. And if those rumors were not tearing up the headlines, it was that a sex tape was about to be released. Turns out that both reports are total bullshit. Speidi have been bunking together in a rental home in Malibu all summer long. They duped us. I don't care really though cause I wouldn't trade anything in the world to be anything like these two douche bags. They are pretty low. Oh yea, and they trashed the house and the owners are pissed. Will they pay them back? No. I seriously doubt they can afford that.

Source

Sexy Mama!

Here we have a picture of Heidi Montag and her fucked up nose from the plastic surgery she got a while back. This shit actually makes Michael Jackson's nose jobs look good. This is seriously some sick fucking shit. Anyway, her body looks awesome and she is a total butterface now. So someone grab me a box of Trojans and a brown paper sack so I can go to town!

Source

How Big Is Too Big?

It is being reported by Life & Style magazine that Heidi Montag wants to remove her ginormous breast implants because they are crushing her. She already made a sex tape that will probably be released pretty soon where she shows off her massive tits in the flesh so I do not see a problem with getting the implants taken out now. I guess there is such a thing as "too big" for tits. I liked them smaller at their original size until Heidi fucked her body up royally by getting over a dozen plastic surgeries in one day.

Source

Heidi Montag Wants To Talk Numbers

Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt are in costa Rica for some weird reason and they are working on the release of this sex tape. This thing is for sure gonna happen one way or the other and everyone in the world will be able to see Heidi's bunghole for all existence. There is still no confirmation on what the numbers will be up front for the vid but I am sure it will outsell Kardashian's bullshit sex tape and may even challenge One Night In Paris. Also there is some Playmate who is gonna have some girl on girl action with Heidi but she says if her role in the film ever becomes public, she will "sue the pants off" Spencer Pratt.

Source

Speidi Might Just FOR REAL Have A Sex Tape

It is being reported today by TMZ that Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt may have a sex tape. Spencer is the one shopping it around and Steve Hirsch of Vivid Entertainment is confirming that he is in negotiations with Spencer to sell the tape. This would fetch a pretty price tag and if the deal goes down Spencer would be able to afford all the pricey lawyers he would need to keep Heidi Montag at bay while he writes a tell-all book about her. Also, if you are looking forward to seeing the tape then you better go out and buy it because I can not post it or screenshots here. I can link to them but can't put the pics themselves up because I have been threatened one too many time by Vivid to stop using their pictures. I am looking forward to the release of this thing. If it is pre-op then it is sexy and if it is post-op then it is kind of like watching the wildlife channel.

Source

The Guy Who Butchered Heidi Montag Is Dead

Some plastic surgeon named Frank Ryan who did the numerous plastic surgeries on Heidi Montag in one day has been killed in a car accident. I think plastic surgery is stupid so I gotta say I am not sad. Heidi looks like shit and this guy did a terrible job on her. Anyway, RIP... I guess.

Source

The Best of 2008

Thanks to New York's Daily News, they have put together some of this year's most memorable quotes from the mouths of, shall we say, some of our favorite celebs:

"You know what? I am actually not that much into voting. I think it's kind of crazy that a woman is running, because I think that women deal with a lot of emotions and menopause and PMS and stuff. Like, I'm so moody all the time. I know I couldn't be able to run a country 'cause I'd be crying one day and yelling at people the next day, you know?" - Brooke Hogan on her reality show.

"Jesus was persecuted, and I'm going to get persecuted, you know?" - Heidi Montag to USA Today.

"I cried my eyelashes off." - Oprah Winfrey on Barack Obama's win in November.

"This song is for the emotionally retarded. You might know a few people who fall into that category. God knows I do." - Madonna shortly after her divorce became public.

"Somebody needs to step up and get this young woman into some quality care - and I do not apologize one whit, not one second, for trying to make this happen." - Dr. Phil on Britney Spears.

"Chace is built like a porcelain doll. I don't even know if he bleeds. He might have been crafted by Mattel. He has, like, the teen-idol genome. He's...beautiful." - Penn Badgley on costar Chace Crawford.

"I think it's really artsy. It wasn't in a skanky way. Annie took, like, a beautiful shot, and I thought that was really cool. That's what she wanted me to do, and you can't say no to Annie. She's so cute. She gets this puppy-dog look and you're like 'Okay.'" - Miley Cyrus on her controversial photo shoot for Vanity Fair.

Quote of the Day

"I was glad to hear it... I thought it was really sweet. That really brought a big smile to my face." - Heidi Montag, referring to Lauren's comments about missing her former bff on a recent Hills episode.

- Erin Dustin

Team Audrina

Last night kicked off the season 4 premiere of The Hills and there were no dull moments.

Looove Whitney, Doug's a hottie, Lauren's always the peacemaker, (at least she's trying) as far as Audrina and Lo's friendship goes, opposites don't attract this time, still can't stand Heidi and Spencer, um and how big is Lo, LC and Audrina's house?!

From the Laguna days to this, I never thought I'd say this, but I'm gonna have to take Audrina's side on this one. Sorry Lo.

Looks like this season won't disappoint!

Photo Credit: WireImage

- Erin Dustin

The Hills Recap

So the hour long season premiere of the Hills on Monday left me with both a bad taste and a good taste in my mouth.

1. Mariah Carey claimed that she absolutely loves watching the Hills but I refuse to believe that she's ever even seen an episode until that night.

2. Whitney and Lauren: How DARE you not know how to pronounce "Givenchy" and you're in fashion and there's a camera in your face!

3. Once the paparazzi is caught taking pics of reality stars while the reality show is being taped, its time for a series finale. Lauren's no longer a reality star she's just a celeb.(Did anyone else catch the pap-snap as the girls were leaving Colette?)


4. Mistakes of an intern (cuz nothing that they did would go down in the "Real" world!)

A. NEVER put going to pick up your dress before getting the job done!

B. NEVER stitch a designer LOAN gown and then go to a club with it on. I gagged when I saw her preparing to do this!

C. NEVER put you beauty supplies next to your designer LOAN gown. That was actually hilarious because Whitney didn't seem to care at first.

D. So now Lauren the man gives you a loan and you hop on a Vespa?? Yeah...NEVER!!! Just NEVER!!!

5. Spencer looked like he gained the marital weight before the wedding even went down!

6.What a dream to meet a semi-hot French rock-star and take mini-tours around Paris!!?? Loved the Eiffel Tower scene

7. Seemed like Lauren got to be more hands on than Whitney but I'm super happy that Whitney is finally finding her way!


8. Kimball...I love you!

9. I'm starting to feel some kind of way about Audrina because why would you make an international call just to tell your friend that the man she likes is showing off his new girlfriend?

10. Heidi's Stepdad to Spencer : "What the heck?!!!" Spencer to the Stepdad: "Yeah I'm a complete loser and it would be a much better moment if you just hit me with that shovel."

Clearly I made that up cuz Spencer's an idiot for going all the way to CO but I love Heidi for making him feel like an idiot at the dinner table with the folks!)

All in all an awesome premiere and can't wait 'til next week! The Heidi drama-train has just left the station!!

- Crystal Hines

Hills Star Loses Stepbrother

The stepbrother of Hills star Heidi Montag, aka L.C.'s former bff, died last Thursday due to a freak accident at a Colorado hotel. 24-year-old Eric O'Hara, (whose mom is married to Montag's dad) a member of the 82nd Airborne Division, had just recently returned from a 15-month stint in Iraq. While cleaning snow off of the roof of the Steamboat Grand Resort Hotel in Steamboat Springs where he was working, O'Hara slipped and fell off of the sloped roof when a piece of ice broke loose.

Montag, who spoke with Usmagazine.com, described O'Hara as "patriotic," a brother who she "loved more than anything" and someone who she used to see every weekend, during the summers, and holidays growing up. Having yet to meet the infamous Spencer, Montag says, "He was very much a brother to me. He called me his sister, not his stepsister. He was always like, 'I love you! I have to meet Spencer and make sure he's cool to you!' Just like a brother."

Montag also said that O'Hara had plans to return to school. "He was just back [from Iraq] and was ready to go back to school. He went up to Steamboat for the weekend where my dad lives."

- Erin Dustin