Jessica Simpson Is Boring

Angelina Jolie isn't the only cunt celebrity out there to fuck up the awesome tradition that is Thanksgiving. Jessica Simpson is going to have a tofu turkey this year with her fag vegan fiance. This sounds terrible but since everyone is on Jessica's case about her weight, maybe a little vegan food is good for her. She also tells People magazine that her fiance asked everyone in the family if he could have their blessing before he popped the question to Jessica. "Everyone knew but me" she cooed.

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Jessica Simpson Is Double Chined, Possibly Pregnant

It seems that Jessica Simpson may not have gotten engaged just because her ex husband Nick Lachey promised to get hitched. She may possibly be with child. If you look at the pic to the left and search the net for more recent Jessica Simpson pics, she looks to have a double chin. Now this could be because of food but I think it is because she is preggers. I would love to be her gynecologist but I would like to be him even if she wasn't pregnant.

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Jessica Simpson Buys Her Own Bling

In more engagement ring news... Jessica Simpson paid for her own engagement ring. You know a bitch is desperate to get off the market when she sort of proposes for you. I am convinced that Jessica is only getting married because it was announced last week that Nick Lachey was going to get hitched to Vanessa Minnillo. Anyway, maybe Jessica's new beau and Vanessa and Nick can get together and have a four way? I would like that. Minus the dudes.

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Jessica Simpson Is Off The Market, Getting Prenup

I think I may have mentioned here before that Jessica Simpson is being taken off the market just days after Nick Lachey announced that he is marrying Vanessa Minnillo. This dude that Jessica is marrying of course is some big boned footballer guy because she can never give skinny guys a chance. Also, she is not signing a prenup. Which makes sense because let's face it, if anyone is going to be doing some golddigging in this relationship it is going to be Jessica. Let's hope this chick gets preggers soon, ruins her body and becomes an afterthought in the world of tabloids.

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Jessica Simpson Is In Love. Aww how...::PUKE::

Pete Wentz, who is apparently a pro at romantic relationships says that Jessica Simpson is in love with this meat head fucker from NFL, Eric Johnson. I don't really see why Jessica can't try her hand at more normal dudes but I guess that by fucking celebrities she will keep herself relevant. That and by selling the most hideous and repulsive shit at Macy's. Anyway, I think Ashlee is one of the most beautiful women in the world and any story that is remotely relevant to Ashlee, I will write about it. congrats Jessica, you got my attention.

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Jessica Simpson Tries To Look Skinny, Fails

OK I don't remember the last time Jessica Simpson has released a song and she is pretty much the poster child for people who try to stay relevant on a regular basis by releasing perfumes and clothing lines and all kinds of other horse shit. If she wanted to be seen why not start a charity or something? Oh that's right, because Jessica Simpson could give a flying fuck less about anyone other than Jessica Simpson. I hope males across this country and the world for that matter realize that this prude ass chick is never going to get naked for any reason and that we are all hopeless suckers for giving her attention and hoping she would do so. I am over her, I wish the public would be too.

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Jessica Simpson's New Boyfriend Is Still Married

Jessica Simpson, it seems, can not be alone for more than two seconds so she found a new guy who is a former NFL player as I reported the other day. Only one thing is coming out now, he is still married. Everyone says there is a shit load of shit that comes with getting divorced but if two people REALLY don't wanna be together anymore, the divorce can happen fairly quickly. So I think this guy is just using Jessica as a booty call and will dump her ass after a couple of weeks. Wouldn't that be cool? To see a guy one night stand a bitch as famous as Jessica? There would be a lot of LOLing going on here for sure.

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Jessica Rocks Her Daisy Dukes

Jessica Simpson takes her daisy-duke shorts out of the closet-archives for a performance at the Florida Strawberry Festival. The country singing cutie proudly shows off her curvy physique despite recent ridicule.

*Splash News

Quote of the Day

"Bronx is beyond precious. I'm over the moon with joy. Life is a beautiful miracle. Ashlee and Pete are healthy, happy and enjoying every moment." - Jessica Simpson on her nephew Bronx Mowgli Wentz. The bundle of joy was born Thursday night!

Quote Of The Day

"Tonight there's this guy here, he throws a football and he's really good at it. He's my better tomorrow and I wrote this song for him." - J. Simpson on her song "You're My Sunday," dedicated to bf Tony Romo at Country Thunder USA, where fans booed and cheered her on.

Photo Credit: WireImage

- Erin Dustin

Let Freedom Ring!

Happy 4th of July!

Photo Credit: Google

- Erin Dustin

Couples Alert

Pete and Ashlee to marry this weekend! Both celebrated bachelor slash bachelorette parties last night. Pete, accompanied by Joe Simpson, his bandmates and Joel Madden, began at LA's Mr. Chow, followed by a party in the Marilyn Monroe suite at Hollywood Roosevelt Hotel. As for Ashlee, she spent the evening at the luxury lingerie store Kiki De Montparnasse.

Since California's Supreme Court turned down the law banning gay marriage, Ellen DeGeneres announced yesterday that she and girlfriend Portia de Rossi are engaged. Congrats!

Are they or aren't they? Earlier reports stated that Tony Romo and Jessica Simpson are dunzo! But wait, Jessica (Ashlee's maid of honor) will be bringing Tony as her date to her sister's nuptials this weekend. Hmmm.

- Erin Dustin

Jessica fights for her man

Jessica Simpson is fighting mad over a recent OK! magazine article claiming she was dumped by Dallas Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo. TMZ.com first reported that Simpson's lawyers had fired off a strongly-worded letter demanding a retraction for an article which claims Romo broke up with the singer because she was high-maintenance. The letter referred to the article as a "smear campaign." Her lawyers insist: "Mr Romo and Ms Simpson have not broken off their romantic relationship." A rep for Simpson confirms that the singer's lawyer sent a letter to OK! but had no additional comment. A source close to Simpson says, "Jess and Tony did not break up. OK!'s story was full of lies."
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Jessica avoids run-in

It could have been awkward for Jessica Simpson and her new beau, Tony Romo, had they gone to Costa Rica with her sister, Ashlee, as they planned last weekend, rather than to Cabo San Lucas. Spies at the Four Seasons in Costa Rica said Ashlee was there with bo-hunk Pete Wentz - and staying next door at the exclusive resort was Jessica's ex, Nick Lachey, with his girlfriend, Vanessa Minnillo. Instead, Jessica flew to Mexico where she, Romo, several of his teammates, and her parents hung out at a private villa.

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Jessica hard at work on country album

After her bad luck at the box office, Jessica Simpson is hoping to bounce back with a country music career. "I am a country girl," she says in a new interview with Billboard.com. "I grew up in Texas, and country music was what I listened to. I always wanted to make a country album, but I wanted to wait until the time was right." She also cites Martina McBride, Shania Twain, Faith Hill and Reba McEntire as inspirations, adding, "I think there is a strength in female country artists." She won't reveal her songwriting collaborators, but tells the website: "Writing is a release for me. It's a way for me to tell my story. That's not to say I wouldn't record a song that I didn't write. It's just that it has been a while since I have opened the book." Simpson is still not certain if she'll hit the road to support the disc, which is due later this year. "Since the record is in the beginning stages, there hasn't been much talk about a tour just yet," she says.

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