Portia DeGeneres Coming Soon

America's two favorite cunt bumpers are back in the media today after TMZ got ahold of legal papers last Friday stating that Portia De Rossi wants to become known as Portia DeGeneres. Makes sense as Ellen is probably one of the most respected women in America and Portia is just some hotty that likes to suck lesbian face. I am happy for both of them.

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Couples Alert

Pete and Ashlee to marry this weekend! Both celebrated bachelor slash bachelorette parties last night. Pete, accompanied by Joe Simpson, his bandmates and Joel Madden, began at LA's Mr. Chow, followed by a party in the Marilyn Monroe suite at Hollywood Roosevelt Hotel. As for Ashlee, she spent the evening at the luxury lingerie store Kiki De Montparnasse.

Since California's Supreme Court turned down the law banning gay marriage, Ellen DeGeneres announced yesterday that she and girlfriend Portia de Rossi are engaged. Congrats!

Are they or aren't they? Earlier reports stated that Tony Romo and Jessica Simpson are dunzo! But wait, Jessica (Ashlee's maid of honor) will be bringing Tony as her date to her sister's nuptials this weekend. Hmmm.

- Erin Dustin